FIRED!!!

Today I fired my scale. I had to face the fact that our relationship was not healthy. It was in part his stubborness and refusal to change that ruined our relationship. Every day it was the same thing. I'd approach him, expecting that things would be different then the day before, that just possibly he'd give me a glimmer of hope. I was even looking for small changes! Just a bit of cooperation. Maybe one day I'll be open again to the possiblity of inviting him back into my life, but as I weighed my options I realized I had to let him go. FIRED!

EVICTION NOTICE

In my continued search to firm the fanny and evict the unwelcomed chubby girl who took up residence, I broadened my horizons and listened to the little voice within. I'ts not that I hate the little voice of the chubby girl, after all, she has been there along side me through some really tough times. She's brought me ice cream cones when the day had been stressful and long. She seems to have an extensive knowledge of sweets, pastries and even Del Taco. At times I had even considered her a friend. I guess I can't say that she hasn't been there for me. However, over the last few months I've come to the conclusion that the relationship has not been working. Somewhere inside I think she sat on the my favorite resident! I could not allow that! He's been a very faithful resident for years and I am very fond of him. I almost didn't hear his tiny, little voice pleaing to be set free from the chubby girl who was squishing him! I hate to think of what could have happened to him had I not heard his faint voice in the nick of time! The good news was that he was rescued! The chubby girl has been sent an eviction notice and the once squashed little voice has been given back his well deserved and native home. I am finding now as he settles back in that his voice is gaining it's strength back. Today in agreement with that little voice within I joined a gym. I want to keep in my memory and maybe even somewhere in the back up files how fantastic it felt to give freedom to the things I enjoy. There are those along the way who have never understood my passion for iron or my excitement in putting numerous miles in on a treadmill, but for whatever the reason that passion inside ignites when I find myself feeding my interests and desires. I can not express how joyful and liberating it was to feel completely at peace with myself and amongst those dumbells today. I want to remember when days get tough and schedules compete for my time and attention that I am worth me following my heart and the things that bring me joy. Stay tuned for day two when the endorphins wear off and the sore muscles and lactic acid sets in. To be continued.....

UP THE BIG HILL

I'm not completely sure at this point what my "next one" is but seeing that every opportunity might be the opportunity for my "next one" I took on the challenge to seize the moment. I was heading out to walk today but the Mini Black Pearl as I refer to my mountain bike was calling... "ride me....." Today may not be my "next one" but I am proud to report that I made it up a rather large hill that I had been attemping for quite some time yet unable to get up previously. Not only did I make it up the big hill but also far beyond....to a galaxy far far away. Today was a great ride and I've got to tell you BOTH of the Rambos better kick it up a notch cause I am kicking some booty! He he he!

SERENITY NOW!!!!

Who ever it was that said yoga creates a sence of calm and serentiy obviously never attempted yoga with a 12 year old boy in the house. I'd swear that my son has yoga radar. It's just like the well know fact that kids know when you are on the phone and they will choose that precise moment to interrupt. I can clear the house and find myself alone with my thoughts... ahhhhh... one would think it is the perfect time to drag out the yoga DVD's! It never seems to fail that just as soon as I am twsted into some very compromising position, sweat running down my face and my wobbly bits are up in the air- in walks not only my son but the audience of several other pre teens ready for the show. Today it was my resolve that no matter what... I as not going to let my blood pressure rise or be bothered by my audience. I must tell you it is a humbling experience to attempt yoga with the audience of tweens. I was hoping today to report some new found technique or a plan for those of you facing my same challenge but after attempting my practice and seeking calm I not only had my audience, but a cat hanging from my pony tail, someone knocked on the door four different times, the neighbor showed up and the phone was left ringing. Sorry... I'm still in search of the serenity????

Kudos

Kudos to Dara Torres Olympic swimmer who encouraged me to climb a few more stairs today! When I read that 40 year old Dara Torres was going against the opinions of her critics and was training to secure her ticket to Bejing I couldn't help but to hear the little girl within yell whooo hooo! Despite the questions of her age and the fact that she is a mother raising a small infant she is aiming towards Bejing. She reminded me to hush those critcs and aim as high as you can see. Go for the gold! Kudos Dara! You encouraged me to climb a few extra flight of stairs today!

MY NEXT ONE

Frank Loyd Wright who was famous for his many architectural designs was asked by a reporter which one of his designs was his favorite? He quickly replied "my next one." At times the little voice in my head can be my worst enemy. Frank's quote got me thinking about what my "next one will be?" There are accomplishments I am proud of in past, but why is it that it is our failures that are the hardes to let go of? Why do we keeping looking back towards those past accomplishemts instead of looking forward to the "next one'? After all, doesn't facing forward and looking out the front windshield provide a much better view then looking through the rear view mirror? I've been on a mission lately to take back my health after a long bout of leaving myself out of the equation when adversity seemed to overwhelm. I'm giving admission back to the little girl inside and the allowance to dream as big as she wants to. As I make this journey to restore my health, regain my strength and to shed those accumalted Dairy Queen trips I'm going to keep in mind that it isn't where I used to be that matters. What matters is where I am heading. I've laced up my tennis shoes, am facing forward and am looking ahead to "my next one."