Sunday, July 29, 2007

Neighborhood Predators...

I hate to admit this to you, but this subject has been viewed as such a disgrace and avoided for far to long. Today I feel as though it is time to openly come forward and to bring this subject matter out into the light. My hope is to address the issue and to prevent anyone else from losing their innocence as I have experienced. My world has been shaken and I am afraid that it may never return to normal. Yes, I was naive to the type of predators that stalk our families, homes and neighborhoods. It started rather innocently, a meeting of a stranger in a Wallmart parking lot. An exchange of a few kind words and smiles. A stranger being brought into our home. Yes, I believed that there was a level of trust between us. All it took was looking into those addorable blue eyes and I knew the kitten had to be mine! She was welcomed into my home with open arms. What I didn't understand and perhaps was a bit child like upon discovering was that this precious little one was full of fleas. Fleas? I had never come across the experience of these nasty little culprits. No, in my hometown of Nevada we did not have fleas. Quite honestly, I had never even seen a flea before. I took it upon myslef to make this rather quick diagnosis and to resolve the problem at hand. With a desire to snuff out any possibility of harm or threat in my home, I quickly headed to the source of fix-it sollutions. As I enterd my neighborhood Wallmart, I became quickly aware that I might have a bigger problem then I had once assumed. Within this well equipted establishment were flea collars, flea powders, flea sprays.... Having never experienced such a tragic dilema I decided that a nice bath for kitty might do the trick and came out with some purple shampoo that had a lovely grape aroma. I was well prepared. The kitchen sink became the sight for kitties first spa experience. I was sure to have the temperature just right. What I neglected to understand was that these nasty, flea psychos had an incomprehendable jumping ability. I had jumping bean fleas bungeeing all over my kitchen! Poor kittie by now was lathered in her grape aroma wrap and the fleas were insistant that today one of us was going down the drain and it was not going to be them! I'm ashamed to admit that kittie's first visit to the spa was not a positive experience. I panicked when kitty began to release something into the bath water. As the bath water changed colors I naturally assumed that kitty was bleeding to death although this strange matter was being released from her back side and I could find no visible wounds on her. In a panic and with effort to not drown kitty nor have her bleed to death, I put my new sudsy friend in one hand. With the other available digits I was squashing those manic maniacs that were bouncing all over my kitchen! By this time I had annialated buggies between my finger tips, sudsie kittie and a kitchen floor that has apparently become the latest hot spot for these partying punks! I quickly lost control of the situation to these invaders and was taken hostage in my own home! Out of desperation I fled to the nearest neighbor for help but in his attempts to help me find my freedom, I have to report sadly that he to became a part of this sick and twisted situation and left with and "itch". There was no mercy to be had. It was completely apparent that these bouncing vulchers were not going to let me win! Even still as I relay my tragic experience my skin twinges and I feel a need to scratch. Kitty made it through this living nightmare but it is discouraging to relay that she was not left unscarred. We still will have a continued battle as these invaders continue to haunt kittie. I'm sure that the grape aroma will continue to be a haunting memory lingering in our minds but we have a full bottle and will know better next time to go in well armed. I hear they have Flea bombs...shhh!

4 comments:

CP Rambo said...

WHOA this is an award winning post in your blog! I am still laughing.... don't see a break in the near future...I was so worried about you when I started reading... THen the story broke loose! HAHAHA wow. yeeeeah.

Art by Lorraine said...

Hi, this is a very serious situation. Did you know that you can get rid of the little buggers by dying your hair? Ah, yes, sweet relief. Trouble is, you might have to dye the kitty too. This is a very significant dilema. You must choose wisely, what color should you use? This calls for extenuating circumstances. Reflect upon this matter for several days before you make the decision that could free you from the bondage of these critters.

Shalome said...

Remember the form or birth control I used for that white cat in Reno??? I painted her like a rainbow to keep her from associating with the other cats. Hey now.... they were NON TOXIC!

Chelita Benavidez said...

hey that's so funny!! I finally found you