For My "Dusty Play Mate"

Leaves of orange, leaves of yellow, bold and bright dancing with delight.

Softly swaying. Harmoniously playing. Music to my ponderoud mind.

Leaves of season without apparent reason take the stage in the morning light.

Perched on trees until a calming breeze sends them hovering high above.

Floating free, come down and dance with me as we play without a bother in mind.

A beautiful pageant, shimmering bright glowing with the morning light.

A carefree playmate of leisure, welcomed for the short season

dips and twirls what a spectacular sight!

A dance once for two have added anew

leaves from all over the once silent neighbor hood.

A spectacular ball fit for a queen

with embellishments built on imagination and daydreams.

Blissfully floating, dancing, delighting.

An artistic display keeps me running away with my wandering immagination.

Untitled...

You told me not to leap from star to star

Said to take the subway instead of my car

You hustle and bustle with the rest

Ignoring the answers to past the test

Love one another wasn't your game

You made disciples of your very own name

Lost little man in this very big place

Eating ice cream never taking a taste

Telling the sun it shouldn't shine

Asking the pigeons if they know the time

They look like you

all clones of the same

with leaches for pets bearing fancy names

Your mother would shake in her very own grave

seeing the monster that's come to play

Lost little man

thinks he's the one

bright enough to steal my sun

Lost little man in this very big place

Never knowing life

Never taking a taste

Circus Cookies....

CHA CHING! CHA CHING! CHA CHING! Ahhh... the all to farmiliar sound, not of a slot machine's pay of but of the clanking grocery cart which reasonably appears to still wobble about on it's three wheels instead of four. "Welcome to Wallmart" enthusiastically stated by the blue vested indvidual who is watching the clock for shift's ends. My son hates Wallmart. It's noise, bright lights and the screaming megaphone children who seem to be very common to the Wallmart experience. On some days I would agree with him. Today however on one of my senceless and aimless bouts to the well adventured local Wallmart, I saw more then the "Smiley yellow faces" offering the ever so popular "lower prices." Perhaps the journey started with the chinese woman next to me who was carrying on a cell phone conversation that sounded more like the clang and clatter of one of my previously owned delapidated vehicles? Maybe it was the well bronzed fellow who wore the permanately inked "Brown Pride" across his body while proudly holding his brand new baby and walking with it's pale skinned, blonde haired blue eyed mother? Wallmart seems to contain more then it's promise of low prices. At any given moment you can find a wealth of experiences to be had. Some sights are well farmiliar like the hefty gal who seemed to not only have forgotten enough clothing to cover her well rounded figure but allso seemingly left her manners at home to. There are also the well groomed young men who are sure not to be missed by the trail of cologne waiting to entice some young and unexpecting female that passes by. Beyond the faces and the people the treasures they collect in those clanging carts can be rather interesting also. Perhaps one could make a quick assumption into their world by the contents of their carts? There is the nice looking young man who has carefully sellected an array of freezer goods... quick and easy to prepare. To be functionally enjoyed with his chosen pop beverage. I assume he is single at the easily prepared contents he collects. There is the gal down the freezer aisle who in my mind is sure to have gone through a recent break up of a loved one by the sweet and abundant collection of frozen arrangements placed in her cart. Her posture relaying that the sweets aren't that inticing. Her down cast head stares dissappointed at the ground perhaps collecting more ice cream then she would on any other day? Today was like most days. Perhaps my perspective was jaded at my consideration of purchasing the pink and white animal cookies... you know... the ones with little, colorful sprinkes on the top? Maybe it was that today I had no time restrictions and was able to appreciate the quietness within myself amongst the usual chaotic establishement? It could have been the smiling elderly woman who needed help reaching the can at the top shelf? To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure what it was that entertainingly captured my attentions so well today in Wallmart. I guess it could be that in everything there is a Wallmart experience to be had. We could listen to the clang and clatter of the world around us or put the pink and white animal cookies in our carts. Guess it all depends on our perspective. It could be that my Wallmart trip is a mere reflective from one who was in her own strange and of beat world today? Whatever it be, if I could share my Wallmart experience with you today, my hope... Is that along your way even in the mundane today, you picked up the pink and white animal cookies. The ones with the little colorful sprinkles on top.

More Bananas....

Out and about one day on a casual afternoon drive, I was captivated by some rather large windows. These windows appearning on the front of some town houses in a neighborhood that overlooked the city below. "For Sale" sounded like a reasonable invite. These windows on the town houses were grand and I'm sure offered a clear and beautiful perspective of the city below. Although I was not in the market to purchase any property my curiosity enticed me to come in. There was a bold and large surrounding metal gate that ran the length of the town house's perimeter met by a high and solid brick wall that allowed no visibility to the property within its borders. I approached the gate in my old and "hand" painted car (litterally for those who remember this page in my journey) whose make and model were so unimportant that I can't recall it anymore. I was met by a well pressed and suited man whose title said "security". I smiled and offered a warm and friendly greeting. I was surprised when he firmly asked me to turn my vehicle around making it clear that I was not welcomed nor invited behind the gates. I cooperatively pulled away feeling a bit rejected by this man and his quick assumptions. None the less, I headed back down the road along the length of its high brick walls. We are all alot alike as individuals. We are strong and independent. We put up large walls surrounding ourselves evaluating the world around us and those who approach our gates. I'm quite certain that these town houses would have been beautiful as property goes, but I couldn't help but to question those windows looking out over the city. Would the perspecitve look any different from behind the gates? Aren't we all the same at times? Do we not all desire the safety of these borders? Are our borders to keep others at a distance away from our safe place or to keep us in from the world on the other side of the fence? I gather that the walls and fences will always be a part of our society and nature. Yes, many views are available, but I don't believe that it matters which side of the gate you are on. Instinct tells me our desires are all the same. We all want the security of that guard that turns away intruders and ivites the welcomed guests in. It is my hope though that this well pressed and suited man knows me well enough to desiphre who to open the gates for, whom to close it and that he will not turn someone away on quick assumptions.

Bananas from Tonya's brain...

I have this ever nagging request within me the majority of my days to seek out adventure, freedom and the unknown. It's usually a welcomed and perpetual whisper that stirs inside of me. On other occasions though this whisper, although intoxicating can become squashing. It's a reminder that no matter how hard I may try to break free from the society I live in and it's demands, they are ever present and at times smothering. I find that there are those occasions where I become "stuck" in this life like a fly on sticky paper. The voice is hushed and lost amongst the noisy crowd of "have to's and musts" that fill my agenda. Ignored, these whispers soon follow with shouts to slow down or to just "be" still, reminding me to appreciate the moment. Some of these demands are not always my own. They may require my time or efforts, perhaps for a bigger purpose then myself? None the less, they'll still mask the longing to follow my heart and to find my much loved freedom. Thoreau once said that "men labor under mistake. Most men, even in this comparatively free country, through mere ignorance and mistake are so occupied with the factitious cares and superflously coarse labors of life that its finer fruits cannot be plucked by them." I'm well aware that my bank account will not find me this freedom no matter it's ballance. The brand of running shoes I place upon my feet will not give me this entitlement either. Although something I enjoy, neither my travel destinations, my kayak nor my random collection of CD's will sufice. These are not the "fruits" or freedoms in my life that I cherish. This freedom I seek and long for is a gift. It's a gift that I already have. It's understanding the value of my faith and the freedom that comes with it. It's sharing a cherished moments of good company with another. It's the joy found in an e-mail from a long lost friend. It's these "plumbs in my life that wake up the soul freeing my wings from it's sticky paper. It's the adventure of knowing that the fruit is there and available for it's taking. Adventure awaits for me around every corner. It matters not the demands of my day or the places they may bring me to. I'ts simply a matter of seeing the fruit trees in my life and knowing which of these fruits is the sweetest pick.

What year is it?

Michael J. Fox watch out! I think Tristan just stole your DeLorean! Here we are folks... looks like Tristan has returned from his journey in time! It was a "radical" trip I'm certain! Hey... at least he didn't come back with Freddy Kruger or leg warmers!

Toll Free?

The mere existence of this ringing device both pleases and annoys me! My home is no different then any other when it comes to the usage of a tool well known as the "Telephone." When thought about, it is a rather unique and interesting object. We string lines of wire across our cities like spaghetti for the ammusement of what? Us as meat balls? We carry cell phones to allow for our ever increasing mobility. We can be reached on mountain tops, across sea, in war zones and even while locked up or incarcerated. We view our phones as a "freedom". It doesn't matter where we are. We could be five miles away or five thousand and yet we have connection. We have call waiting, caller I.D., phones in our restrooms on our planes. Just about any where we can imagine. We desire this availability! In my own home, my phone bill costs more then my necessities like power or water. It is a service that I voluntarily pay a hefty bill for. What I find most entertaining though is that the telephone also has the ability to bring great joy or a complete dread at the sound of it's ringing. Maybe I should not admit this publicly but what becomes puzzling is that my calls are rarely answered. Yes, I admit that the majority of my callers find their way to "the answering machine." Rarely do I return calls. I screen through what I desire to answer or not to. The sales calls always ditched, the bill collectors to. A cherished few will recive a call back from me, some with a timely responce others may take longer. I am sure to pay my telephone bill monthly to be sure that my service is guaranteed. I want to know that the phone is available, accessable and here at all times as it seems other do also. Why is that? Why do we makes ourselves so accessable yet at the same time so unaccessable? Does it make us feel better to collect callers as though we are collecting votes? Does it make us feel loved and appreciated to see another reach out and seek to call on us? Maybe it is something bigger? Maybe it's the anticipation of that one special call to come? A caller like Ed McCmahn or maybe a lost love or a future friend? Maybe that one special call is different to each of us? What ever it be I am continually marvled at the capeabilities of this ringing in my ear. So, I will continue to put the check in the mail for another month of service. Even if it does make me feel like a meat ball.